Remorse about having no youngster at instances too late

THANE: While on the one hand, Double Income No Kids (dink) couples decide against having children for whatever reasons, there are some who their decision because by the time they make up their mind to have one, it often becomes impossible owing to the biological clock.
(name changed), 37, was being counselled after she was informed by her gynaecologist that it will be difficult for her to conceive. Six years ago, she decided not to have a child.

Mental health experts claimed that like Desai, there are other patients who suffer from anxiety or go into depression and start doubting themselves when, after a few years, they wish to have a child, but their body does not support their decision.

“There is a niche group of dink couples who visit us only if either the couple has disputes over the decision of having a child or when they are going through stress as they are unable to conceive later when they want. Also, it is not true that everyone who takes this decision regrets it. As the society is changing, the definition of happiness also differs from person to person. For a couple it is no more just about having a family but to do much more with their lives. People now in general have become self-centred and feel that they will not be able to handle the responsibility of having a child. It is even seen that some people change their decision when they get older as people in general change in time, so later they want a child but are unable to have it. They then suffer from mental illnesses like suffer from stress, anxiety, go into depression, blame themselves for the decisions they had taken earlier etc.,” said Dr , psychiatrist and marriage counsellor.

Gynaecologists also confirmed that they have been seeing many couples who are conceiving post 35, as earlier in their lives they want to remain focused on their careers.

“Earlier people used to get married at an early age due to which they used to have children early but now as the marriages only take place late, people focus on their careers and later think about having kids. The problem that occurs when one tries to conceive at or after 35 is they have more chances of complications as they suffer from some or the other health problems like blood pressure, diabetes, obesity, etc. They then have to splurge a lot on various treatments to conceive. Then they become desperate to have a child and take a lot of stress which again becomes a problem to conceive,” said Dr , gynaecologist.

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